The following lawyer jokes
are specifically in reference to the lawyers who are working against gun
freedoms, and specifically about the lawyers who are unAmericanly working as
"prosecution" of the gun manufacturers.
Did you hear that the Post
Office just recalled their newest stamps?
They had pictures of lawyers on
them...and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
How are an apple and a
lawyer alike?
They both look good hanging
from a tree.
Did you hear about the new
sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? It's called, Sosumi.
How can a pregnant woman tell
that she's carrying a future lawyer? She has an uncontrollable craving for
bologna.
How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then
he lies on the other.
How many lawyers does it
take to screw in a light bulb?
Three, One to climb the ladder.
One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
If a lawyer and an IRS agent
were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch
or read the Paper?
What are lawyers good for?
They make used car salesmen
look good.
What did the terrorist that
hijacked a jumbo-jet full of lawyers do?
He threatened to release one
every hour if his demands weren't met.
What do you call 25
attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
Not enough cement.
What do you call 25
skydiving lawyers?
Skeet.
What do you call a lawyer
gone bad?
Senator. (as in Seantor
Kennedy, Feinstain, Schumer, Boxer, LautenBORG)
What do you call a lawyer
with an IQ of 50?
Your Honor. (as in any
judge who rules against human rights)
What do you throw to a
drowning lawyer?
His partners.
What's brown and looks
really good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
What's the difference
between a lawyer and a liar?
The pronunciation.
What's the difference
between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A prostitute will stop screwing
you when you're dead.
What's the difference
between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer
miles.
What's the difference
between a mosquito and a lawyer?
One is a blood-sucking
parasite, the other is an insect.
Why did God make snakes just
before lawyers?
To practice.
Why does California have the
most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
New Jersey got first choice.
